In what is untangling as a darkly yet perfectly tinged cursed web of Fincher-esque conspiracy: The perceived Cradle Robber of Life, or Something Like It is seeking custody for all 6 children with visitation rights for the Perpetually young Vampire/ true to life form of Benjamin Button– Bradley vs. Pittsburgh.
It will likely either devolve into a messy cavalcade of perpetual youth akin to ongoing competition between college basketball franchises, or drag out from another kind of court, this one of the third circuit to educate us on new world teachings until we finally get around to [watching] Meet Joe Black.
Hollywood’s favourite couple; the butt of so many child jokes I’m sure will rear their ugly head as soon as the level of media typhoon third world destroying, worldview adopting gets underway. This is the third marriage for the former Tomb Raider turned real life explorer and Girl, Interrupted to Jennifer Aniston, after her marriages to Billy Bob “Bad Santa” Thorton and Johnny Lee “That’s Elementary Sherlock” Miller. It’s the second for marriage for Pitt who despite having an illustrious career and several acting Oscar nominations doesn’t have quite the same cool name check quality as his spouse does to match his iconic moniker. (Despite playing Jesse James, that movie was totally Affleck’s show.)
By way of artistic expression it is not surprising that Jolie would file for main care of the kids. The former Jolie-Pitt has a habit of playing dedicated family, social change and parental figures see (A Mighty Heart, Changeling, arguably Beowulf, Beyond Borders, Maleficent). And especially since their oldest Maddox was hers to begin with, it leaves Pitt unlikely to fight like an Irishman and become a custody step “Wardaddy” and stepdad his way in there. Even if they do have biological children. To give my actual non-professional opinion on the matter I imagine the likely irreconcialable differences relates to Jolie’s history of drug use and self abuse at a young age has led her to steerclear of such chance opportunities for her kids by being a good mother. In contrast, Brad Pitt who was not raised on such problems has a more casual recreational 420 friendly Hollywood attitude towards drugs and liberal alcohol use. It’s not a problem. Not for Brad Pitt in Hollywood anyways. They were brought up in Hollywood in different ways, not that I know a true damn thing about either of them. Pitt, I’ll say isn’t quite ready finished chilling out maxing and relaxing all cool. Maybe he’ll never be, he’s Brad Pitt an extremely above standard looking man. As a man compared to a woman, you never know how to come down from being treated that way. That comfortable lifestyle of marijuana (maybe other stuff? and booze can be harmless, but take no risks when children are around. Will Brad Pitt slow down like his co-star Clooney was or most men in their 50’s (minus Tom Cruise who never stops running).
It’s worth noting that in the only 3 divorce filings I’ve written about on this blog all 3 can be traced back to director David Fincher in what I am now dubbing coolly/ lamely as the Marital Fight Club. Nobody talks about it until they realize its a cover for something that is all a sham. It also indirectly grows to greatly affect or disaffect capital investments. Helena Bonham Carter (divorced from Tim Burton) and Brad Pitt worked together on Fight Club, and Ben Affleck (divorced Jennifer Garner) worked with David Fincher on Gone Girl. This is such a comically Insidious paradigm to confer, I’m sure Fincher would approve. What’s more is that it can also trace back to Gwyneth Paltrow. The amazement isn’t at the complexities of modern Hollywood relationships rather, just that Gwyneth Paltrow gets to be compelling for once. Co-star with Pitt on Fincher’s Se7en and ex-girlfriend/ fellow divorcee Gwyneth Paltrow also dated/ co-starred with Affleck (in Bounce, who cares it’s a boring film I got 20 minutes in and quit, then nearly gave up 1:20 into the trailer. It’s a critical and commercial flop don’t bother. I couldn’t even link through the entire word. And why is it called Bounce wtf?) and co-starred starred in a movie with but likely not opposite Jolie (Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow). I would imagine she would rather put her head in a box rather than comment on this rude matter. But it could all also be because she is secretly in on the Fincher-esque plot too. Having directly starred in a movie with every one of these couples give or take a Johnny Depp substitution. Also Helena Bonham Carter is compared to her for some meaningless reason in this hilarious out of date still-active website.
Alas, the moral this sophisticated game of relationship Dominoes suggests is that the ball is firmly in the court of The Social Network star Justin Timberlake and his wife Jessica Biel and/ or The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo star Daniel Craig (who fun fact: co-starred with Jolie in Tomb Raider ) and his wife Rachel Weisz.
Complete Aside: You see that video game adaptation Tomb Raider was responsible for so much. Birthing both the action careers of its stars leading to Mr. & Mrs. Smith which led to this event and Daniel Craig as James Bond. The villain of the movie likely got on Game of Thrones because of it, and its sequel birthed the success of Gerard Butler as an action star. It also reunited Jolie with her father Jon Voight!
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